Sunday, 20 March 2016
I've been thinking a lot about expectations and people putting you in a box making you conform to someone else's standards. Sometimes I feel that I'm expected to be someone or something without my prior consent. I think part of growing up is trying to test the boundaries and discover who you are and this can be hard for teenagers especially when everyone around you, especially those you think those who are meant to be supporting you, constrict you in your attempts to breathe and change.
Generally I do feel quite lucky, as growing up I was always told that I could be whoever I wanted to be and I could be strong and independent and I just needed to learn and to grow and to nurture myself. With the support of friends and family this became possible, however my journey through self discovery has not been all that smooth and not everyone has been a supportive. Especially during high school I, like many others, felt that it was the worst thing in the world to be different. You have to be normal and you have to be quiet you couldn't be different or express yourself without someone judging you, someone calling you names, someone belittling you. After leaving high school and going into sixth form it was a much smaller community but a safer community where there were groups but really everyone intertwined and was very supportive. Because of this you got to see a lot more people express themselves and they weren't afraid. I think what I have realised is that the supportive community that I had meant that people weren't afraid to be themselves they didn't mind being different because they knew that they would be okay and others wouldn't care, if anything they'd support them further.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that things now may feel like you can't express yourself, sometimes you don't fit in with others expectations of you. That's okay because eventually you will find a place where you will be accepted and even if you don't you have to believe and love yourself. The characteristics that are your differences will make you great and headstrong, making you fight to be heard and to never give up.